Campuses across the country are facing chaos today as the viral video game Pokemon Go continues to grip the student body.
Dr. Samuel Oak, a professor of zoology at Celadon University, took the drastic step of failing all of his students after they refused to pay attention in class following the release of the hit new game.
“Around the second week of class I noticed many students had stopped paying attention completely and were just staring at their phones”, he lame, “Every class has some inattentive students, but when they began walking around the room I started to get irritated”.
“One day a student pointed their phone at me and exclaimed that they had caught a Butterfree”, he explains, “I just lost it”.
Professor Elm, a biology professor at Johto University said that she had an influx of students interrupting her class on Monday asking if they were in the right place for the Magikarp giveaway.
Elsewhere campus gyms have been designated as a Pokemon gyms, resulting in a number of unfortunate accidents, while the library at Straiton City University is receiving visitors in unprecedented numbers after first year student Ash Ketchum claimed to have spotted a Pikachu in the aisles.
Pokemon Go is the latest in a string of distractions that are leaving lecturers helpless – just last year a student was marked absent after spending her class taking selfies and googling pictures of golden retriever puppies in party hats.
But Oak and others argue that this is an entirely new breed of distraction, more involved and insidious than the selfies and emojis that have previously plagued their pedagogy.
Unsure how to manage the crisis, one university is cancelling the semester altogether to allow the hype to die down.
Professor Takao Cozmo, Dean of Fallarbor University, announced the closure today in a brief statement: “We recognize that attempting to teach in this environment is pointless, so all classes are cancelled until further notice” he told the small group of journalists that were all staring at their phones.
Cosmo also announced that research efforts would be redirected to capturing and identifying all 150 of the curious creatures before cutting his speech short and rushing to the door to chase a passing Pidgey.